Some days it’s more challenging than others to make our words count for the positive and good. I know for me, sometimes my way with words just gets in the way. Sometimes I let my quick wit or well-reasoned opinion overshadow patience and kindness in dealing with others.
Take for example my communication tussle with a discount airfare company. After several attempts to book a flight online, I called the company’s customer service number, and well, I lost my patience. I tried to remain calm and even paced in working through the overseas language issues and essentially being told a lie. But I could feel my words intensifying with a sharp tone. “This is not working for me. This is not good business. I’ve already wasted 45 minutes . . .” I barked before harshly hanging up.
A Galloping Tongue
I felt a check in my spirit as I was winding up to tell the ticket agent that his company was incompetent. I ignored the pestering nudge. Instead of bridling my tongue, I let it gallop across a pasture of justifications. How dare this reputable company brush me off? I have a right to fill out all my address and credit card info, press “agree and book,” and have everything work smoothly. Blah. Blah.
Maybe you’ve swirled in a similar expectation game where your words morphed with sharp edges.
I appreciate a close friend who shared her principle of using words and a kind demeanor to ADD to someone’s life vs. SUBTRACT from this person.
With the airfare company, I did not ADD to the customer service person’s life with my impatience and tough-girl tongue. I regret that I SUBTRACTed from his day and perhaps his favor with the boss. Sigh.
Fortunately, I’m learning that each day is a new day to be more intentional about the beneficial rule of ADD and SUBTRACT. When we ADD to someone’s life with our words, we also ADD peace and contentment to our own lives. And, we move forward less encumbered.
ADD Up the Positive
Math was not my favorite subject in school, but this type of buildup or teardown equation counts for peaceful relationships and a joyful countenance no matter what circumstances jostle into our days (even malfunctioning websites).
Wouldn’t it be wild if we had to use a calculator at day’s end to ADD up the positive, helpful words we thought and spoke to others? One thousand one, one thousand two . . . .
“May the words from my mouth and the thoughts from my heart be acceptable to you, O Lord, my rock and my defender” Psalm 19:14 (God’s Word).
this struck home today
Dealing with customer services frustrates me more thank I should let it ….
I understand, Sharon. For me, I found that just because I can’t see the person on the other end of the line does not mean I can be rude and impatient. Life sure is a process at times.
Thanks Beth! Mine comes when I dont feel well or my pain level is heightened. I tend to loose my tongue when buttons are pushed over time then I explode and my mouth runneth over learned behaviors. Yes. Subtracting from others. Good lesson, thanks again
Convicting. Thank you
Convicting for me too, Tez.
The Lord is speaking to me through your blog today.
I’m glad I could send along a nudge from Him, Greg. I need this blog just as much as anyone.
Beth,
Great commentary. As our culture and communications become more and more remote I think our frustrations escalate. But the people on the other end have their own life issues. You are right on. Our responses can add to or subtract from others life challenges. Enjoy your blog.
Thank you so much, Mike, for your encouraging words. I appreciate your taking time to read my blog and to write this comment. I agree that remote communications can lead to more frustrations. At times, it almost feels like you are not communicating with another person, so I try to remind myself, like you point out, that the person on the other end has his or her own life challenges. This helps me add instead of subtract. (But, hey, you’re the numbers guy. 🙂 ).
Good and convicting reminder, Beth! I was just reading verses in James with a similar theme! 🙂
James sure knows how to tackle the subject of our tongues, Nancy. Thanks for sharing where to find more of God’s take on our communication and relationships.
This is such a great reminder! It makes me think of many times that I wish I could have taken back some of my words for sure. And I seem to still need this reminder. Thank you for writing this and for reminding us!
t.
I’m right with you, Terry. I tend to be zippy with my comments and responses and sometimes the words just flip out too fast before I have thought things through. Thank God that He is patience and kind in how He nudges us to be more like Him with our words.